precious petunia

Sam

2009-09-21T00:49:00.007-04:00

Because we can all use a little bit of Sam in our worlds. :)

"Chris Brewer is Amazing!!!"

2009-05-01T20:53:00.008-04:00

or...
"Happy Mother's Day to me!!!"

Chris surprised me today with these portraits of the boys.
I was so moved when he gave them to me. They are so lovely.
The amount of detail is amazing but these pictures don't do them justice.
I love that John has his long hair in his portrait.
The artist really captured the curls from this picture.

Sam's expression came through so well. I can see it especially in his eyes and lips.
I can't find the picture the artist was using so you'll have to trust me...the likeness is amazing.
Chris is so thoughtful and I am grateful to have such a giving and creative husband. This gift is such a treasure!

A year later...

2009-05-01T20:36:00.004-04:00

The quilt is finished!
I had a lot of fun sewing this together and I'm really happy with the front side.
The back was a little trickier since my creative ambitions exceed my sewing abilities...
But all in all I am happy with my latest project.
I have already enjoyed moments snuggling with my boys (Chris included) under this quilt and I hope there are many more of those moments to come!

I Think I'm in Love

2009-03-06T15:50:00.003-05:00

...with my new scarf!
I took a challenge that my cousin Joanna gave me to make a scarf out of fabrics that I already had. I had tons of scraps left over from presents and other projects so I was eager to start. The quilt was put on hold in favor of playing with all of these fun, bright fabrics. I am actually disappointed that I am done working on it. I had so much fun sewing this together!
Today we enjoyed more spring like weather and lot's of sun. I can feel myself thawing from the long winter. We may get more snow before winter is completely done but this is a wonderful taste of what is to come!

Happy Things

2009-03-05T15:05:00.008-05:00

Welcome March!
The sun is bright outside. I've had my windows open. The boys and I went for a walk! I'm starting to think Spring might actually be coming!
And I got this lovely delivery today from my husband!
Isn't he the best?!
Let's look at that loveliness again, shall we?
That's right. Those flowers are for me.
I think he likes me.
More happiness...John has finally had a hair-cut! His Aunt Stacy chopped off his long locks at our request and I think he looks so handsome and grown-up!
Here is a little before and after...
What a change!!! Now I won't have people thinking that I dress my little 'girl' like a boy. :) And now his hair is out of his eyes. Which has it's advantages.
Here he is giving me his angry eyes. :)
And of course, I can't post without another quilt square.
We are coming down to the end and soon I will be sewing them all together! (If I can keep myself from getting distracted by other projects.)
I hope you are enjoying your day!

Rant

2009-02-16T14:00:00.005-05:00

Where Rachel stands on her soapbox and yells about the injustices in this world...or perhaps just in Jenison.

We received this nice little gift from someone driving through our neighborhood last night. Our neighbors came over to tell us that our fence had experienced a hit-and-run from a black compact car. I, inheriting my mother's "Detective Dart" genes ,headed out with a flash-light to inspect the damage.
Unbelievable!
How do you, in your little Ford Escort, "accidentally" drive 40 feet off of the road, through some one's fence and into their yard?! And then, you don't even have the guts to come to the door and fess up?!!
Seriously?!!!
I realize there are much more important and disturbing things going on in the world...but I need to vent.
Our friends who were over for dinner pointed out that it was a blessing this didn't happen in the summer when we were playing croquet in that corner of the yard...an excellent point when considered.
So, I am glad that we are safe...peeved at whoever (whomever?) wrecked our fence and grateful that my husband works in the lumber industry.
But seriously people, let's have some integrity!
I'm just sayin'.

Rant over...for now.

More Quilt Squares

2009-02-10T15:26:00.005-05:00

I am still enjoying working on my quilt.
This one I did myself
...and this one is from some drawings from the boys. I gave them paper and a permanent marker and this is what they came up with! After they were done I taped the paper to the window and traced it onto the fabric. Then I embroidered it with different colors to keep the pictures separated.
Sam's artwork is in green. And John's disgruntled smiley face is in brown.
I can't wait to start sewing all of these blocks together!

Spring at the Gardens

2009-02-07T13:37:00.008-05:00

I am so grateful that we have a membership at the local botanical gardens.
This time of year I need some extra green and floral in my life. And all the floral fabric I am trying to surround myself with just doesn't cut it.
So I woke up the other day and knew that it was a garden day. I called my friend Amy who also has a membership and we made a date of it.
I love all these pictures because my lens was fogging up and it adds such a cool look to my usual mediocre pictures.
This is John with Amy's oldest, Samantha. Aren't they cute! They were walking all over holding hands and looking at things together. Sammy is one of John's favorite people.
John's hair was curling up because of the humidity. I had to get a shot of it. I am in the mood to chop it off so he looks like a normal boy. He is the only one in the house who gets his hair brushed daily. But then I see pictures like this and I can't bring myself to cut it!

An Anniversary of Sorts

2009-01-28T17:19:00.009-05:00

I hope you have a nice warm mug of tea handy because this is a long one!!

January is such a cold, long month. The snow keeps piling up around my house, a familiar sight in West Michigan. I snuggle down with my blankets and my books and my tea and try to make the most of it. Hibernating has it's fun points. Somehow my daily activities like knitting, baking and reading are even more enjoyable and add to the cozy feeling of being home.
Each winter is a bittersweet time for me. I can't help but remember what life was like last winter and the dark days we were brought through.
December 19, 2007 we welcomed Sam and his chubby self into our family. He was perfectly healthy and beautiful. The delivery went remarkably well and our first few days together were just as they should be.
However, my body does not like having babies.
After delivery the estrogen levels in a woman's body drop. That is when most women experience the "baby-blues". When my estrogen levels drop like this it sends me into severe Post-Partum Depression. After I delivered John, the depression hit almost immediately. With Sam it struck a day or two after we came home. Some women can experience this kind of depression up to a year after they deliver.
My depression, as with most women, began with anxiety. Suddenly, out of nowhere, I was in the middle of a panic attack. My heart was racing, I couldn't catch my breath, I was nauseous and my thoughts were racing. I had experienced a panic attack before but this was different. The panic was constant and inescapable. This made rest and sleep impossible.
Both of my babies were great sleepers but while they slept the night away, I was up pacing the floors. With John, I went an entire week without any sleep. After too long without sleep the body begins to shut down. I began to hallucinate and my immune system weakened so I came down with all sorts of odd issues that I won't get into.
Anxiety led quickly into despair that was a living hell. I can only describe it as putting on a pair of dark colored glasses. No matter what you look at, you see it through a dark shadow. There seemed to be no way out. Soon I was run down by the physical and emotional effects of the anxiety and I lost the strength and will to fight.
This was when we sought medical counsel. My Doctor took swift action to get me sleeping and on the way to feeling better. There are many opposing opinions on the use of anti-depressants. All I will say is that I am confident that the course that God enabled us to choose saved my life.
It was a month or so before I felt consistently better but the relief came quickly with a few nights of good sleep. I was soon able to enjoy life again. I loved every day I got to know John and all his little ways. He was a wonderful baby and I was so grateful to be able to enjoy him.
When we discovered that we were expecting again we were excited but nervous about the possibility of a similar experience. My Doctor assured me that we would be taking the proper precautions to prevent anything like what had happened before.
So I prayed that God would make this experience completely different and that he would allow me to enjoy the first few months of my baby's life.
He did not choose to answer my prayer the way I wanted Him to.
When things began to go down hill after Sam's birth we were quick to seek medical help. This time around I was a mystery to the Doctors. My body didn't respond as quickly to the medication they had prescribed and they began switching medications with every phone call. I was sleeping a few hours each night because of the medication but the sleep was not restful and as soon as I opened my eyes the panic was back. Because of the medication I had to give up nursing which was something I had really enjoyed with John but there seemed to be no other choice.
My days became long and very dark. I obsessed over every little thing. I was so afraid of doing something wrong as a mom and I felt like such a failure. Life was stripped of its hope and joy and the future was a tunnel of inescapable darkness.
It was many long months before the cloud lifted.

In each experience my faith was tested in ways I never thought possible. I knew God was in control. I knew His plan was what was best for me. I knew that He would never leave me or forsake me. But every feeling within me cried out that I had been abandoned. I was all alone and there was no hope. But in those moments all I could hold on to was the Truth. And it was enough.
God was there. He held me every step of the way. One morning the only thing that kept me going was repeating the phrase "I have hope in Christ. I have hope in Christ.". God showed up in many ways.
Chris was the greatest demonstration of the love of Christ that I have ever known. He held me, prayed with me and reminded me of what was True. He took care of the boys and made sure I got the help I needed. He never let me down. And I thank God for him every day.
Our families took such good care of us during these hard days. They made meals, listened, took care of the boys and lifted us up in prayer. We never knew how blessed we were until the bottom fell out and they were there. We are so grateful for our families and our friends.

It is so wonderful to feel joy again. You never know what a blessing that is until the ability to feel joy has been taken from you. Every day I find myself being grateful for a laugh or a smile or a ray of sunshine. The blessings of each day are breathtaking. God is so good.
I find myself now in a time of rebuilding. An experience like this has a way of stripping everything from you and building something different in its place. I had always thought of myself as a fairly strong person. I do not like asking for help. I like to be the one giving help. This experience took away any confidence that I had in myself. I truly know now that anything good that is in me is because of God. I am now well aquainted with my own weakness. You cannot be the same person after walking through valleys like these.
I found a quote that captured that thought while watching Lord of the Rings. (I freely admit to being a Tolkien nerd).

"How do you pick up the threads of an old life?
How do you go on when in your heart
you begin to understand,
there is no going back.
There are some things that time cannot mend.
Some hurts that go to deep,
that have taken hold."

I am trying to move on from this experience in a way that does not dwell in the past but instead, uses it to shape the future in positive way.
God has been so faithful.
I know this is an abrupt departure from my usual posts of crafts and the boys. But I want to be more real and open about what God is doing in my life. And writing this tonight has been somehow theraputic. Reliving the pain of the past and dwelling on God's faithfulness throughout gives today more beauty and purpose. Each day has become a gift because of these experiences and I wanted to share that with you.

"For we do not have a high priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but One who has been tempted in all things as we are, yet without sin.
Therefore let us draw near with confidence to the throne of grace, so that we may recieve mercy and find grace to help in time of need."
Hebrews 4:15&16

Nest

2009-01-26T21:46:00.002-05:00

My latest quilt square.
For this work in progress.

Art in Motion

2009-01-26T21:07:00.010-05:00

Sam got a hold of some markers one day and decorated his forehead.
As this was his first artistic endeavor I thought I would commemorate the event with a photo shoot.
This was the result.

...And we're back!

2009-01-16T00:18:00.002-05:00

"I don't say we ought to misbehave,
but we should look as though we could."
~Oscar Wilde

Meme....pick me!

2008-11-10T15:52:00.003-05:00

I've never done a Meme. Mostly because I don't like the sound of the word. What does it mean anyway?
This is a One-Word-Meme and for whatever reason I liked it.

Where is your mobile phone? Counter

Where is your significant other? Indy

Your hair colour? Natural
Your mother? Short

Your father? Tall

Your favourite thing? Chris

Your dream last night? Odd

Your dream goal? Artist

The room you're in? Cheery

Your hobby? Crafting

Your fear? Loneliness

Where do you want to be in 6 years? Here

Where were you last night? Here

What you're not? Content

One of your wish-list items? Fabric

Where you grew up? Mid-west

The last thing you did? Baked

What are you wearing? Hat

Your TV? Lonely

Your pets? Non-existent

Your computer? On

Your mood? Teetering

Missing someone? Muchly
Your car? Paid
Something you're not wearing? Jewelry
Favourite shop? Internet

Your summer? Beautiful

Love someone? Forever

Your favourite colour? Blue

When is the last time you laughed? Sunday

When is the last time you cried? Morning

I tag the two people who actually read this blog to play along! :)

A Day at the Gardens

2008-10-31T10:10:00.013-04:00

This year we have a membership at the local Frederick Meijer Gardens. Yesterday we loaded up and headed out to do some exploring and get out of the house!
John seemed to enjoy the plants and the flowers.
Sam did this.
There are many sculptures throughout the park. This one seemed to be John's favorite. I don't remember all the history about it but I believe the design was DaVinci's....It's kind of big.
John was a little nervous at first. I think he was waiting for it to move. Then he was dancing around it saying "Big Worsey (horsey)! Big Worsey!".
Meanwhile, Sam did this.
Then we met Linda who was feeding the birds. She asked John to help her fill the feeders and he was quite delighted!
And Sam still did this.
Then we went and sat under this big glass sculpture
and had a snack!
Both boys were fast asleep the whole ride home!
It was a great day!

Sam I am

2008-10-11T12:44:00.007-04:00

The many faces of Sam...Sweet, Sweet Sam

My Purse

2008-10-09T18:19:00.008-04:00

This post is a few weeks late...but this is my new Fall purse!
I found the fabric on sale and kept waiting to find the right pattern, which proved to be difficult because I wanted a free pattern. So I came up with my own.
It felt good to make this because with two little men on the move I haven't found much time for crafting!
I did just update my Etsy shop with these little diaper bags! You can visit my shop by clicking on the link to the right.
And now to make dinner...

Theology for Toddlers

2008-09-28T15:44:00.004-04:00

The thing that I am most passionate about as a Mom is that my boys will know and love God. I pray over them every night that they would grow up to serve Him and love Him.
That said, I try to take advantage of every opportunity to teach them about who God is and what He has done. John loves to sing so I am teaching him different choruses and hymns and talking to him about what they mean. He just memorized Genesis 1:1 and he loves to talk about what God has made. "God made...(fill in the blank)...and it was really, really dood (good).
I was putting him down for his nap this afternoon and thought I would try my hand a storytelling. And what better story to tell him than God's Big Story! We had talked about some of the smaller stories that make up the Bible but I hadn't explained the Story that ties it all together.
So I started with Creation. "At first there was nothing. And then God said 'Let there be light.' And God made everything!..." We talked about how God made the Elephants and the monkeys, the trees and the clouds. John really seems to get the Creation part of the Story.
So we moved on the the Fall. I explained how God said that Adam and Eve could eat from any tree in the garden except for one. But they disobeyed God and had to leave the garden. And that's why things are wrong in this world. We disobey, we get hurt and God didn't make things this way but we disobeyed.
Then I explained how Jesus came to make things right. I wasn't quite sure how to explain Redemption to a two year-old but I did my best. Then I moved on to the end of the Story when Jesus comes back and makes everything how it was supposed to be. "And we will have no more snotty noses, we won't bump our heads or skin our knees. And we won't disobey anymore so there will be no more spanks! And then we get to be with God!"
He pondered all of this information for a moment and I waited for his response to this amazing Story.
...
"Ummm, God spanked Jesus."
...
Right.
Ok.
We've got a ways to go here.

Boys?

2008-09-24T17:05:00.007-04:00

My handsome men!

food and fabric

2008-07-09T15:54:00.010-04:00

Heidi came over the other day and helped me make my first batch of freezer jam! We had a great time in between chasing children and feeding babies. We both have been quite inspired by so many of our favorite bloggers that post pictures of the beautiful meals they prepare. Not wanting to be left out, we shot some exquisite pictures of the delicacies we enjoyed that afternoon. Here is one we wanted to share with you!Lovely isn't it?
Here's a shot of the results of the freezer jam experiment. I think it is delicious however John does not seem to share my opinion. I made him a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with the new homemade jam, thinking that I was giving him such a treat. He took two bites and handed it back to me. "That's yucky Mommy."
Lovely.
So it looks like Chris and I have the jam stash to ourselves.
I have started working on a quilt for the family room. I'm working on it slowly, one square at a time. It's fun to have smaller projects to carry around with me.
I was inspired by this fabric by Anna Griffin. It's from her Sierra line. On this square I took a few of the flowers and outlined them with embroidery.
The next few are some embroidery doodles of my own. I traced these birds on with a fabric pen. And no , I did not come up with the pattern on my own.
This is the last one I have finished. I love this quote about home. I want this quilt to be a special one for our family. I love wrapping my family in homemade things and showing them that they are so special to me.

Dancing

2008-07-09T09:06:00.003-04:00

Has anyone else seen this?
I found it off of a friend's site and I had to share it!
If you can get past the name on the video it's quite funny!
John and I have watched it twice and I can't stop laughing!
It's nice to know I'm not the only one who can't dance!

Sam and the Bird of Paradise

2008-06-27T15:34:00.008-04:00

Hello?
I'm cute aren't I?
Careful I bite!
AHAHAHAHAHA!!!! (insert scary, evil laugh here).
thank God I'm not nursing! :)
And I made a bird.
Have a great day!

Curtains

2008-06-17T14:28:00.008-04:00

I have new kitchen curtains!
Our old ones were dark and drab and I wanted something light and happy! I found this fabric by Joel Dewberry on Sew Mama Sew. I love it!
The pattern was very simple and it was so enjoyable to be working with this fabric! Now I'm wondering what to put in my upstairs bathroom!
And I couldn't post without adding some pictures of the boys.
John and I enjoyed the first watermelon of the season getting as messy as possible, just as it should be!
A few weeks ago we went out to see my parents in Pennsylvania. We had a great time being in their home and spending time with them. I'm sorry for those of you we did not see while we were there but it was a last-minute whirlwind trip and as most good things do, it went by too fast!
Sam and Dad enjoyed getting to know one another. Sam's full name is Samuel J. Edwin Brewer the J is in honor of my father James. And the Edwin has been a Jeffery family name for generations. So Dad and Sam have a special bond. :)
Here John is with his most treasured possession, his "white bwandet" and Grandma Jeffery who made it for him. Grandma has fifteen grandchildren and we are all multiplying like rabbits so she has a number of great grandchildren. She makes one blanket for each grandchild's family so she doesn't have to make one for each baby who comes along.
And that's what's been going on in the Brewer household!

Cozy John

2008-06-14T14:51:00.004-04:00

John's quilt is finally finished!
I think blogging about it the other day made me feel more accountable to get it done faster. It all came together quickly and I'm really pleased with how it turned out! John was really excited about it while I was stitching away and kept trying to snuggle up in it while it was still full of pins!I can see that quilting is going to be yet another artistic addiction but when we're all cozy this winter with our handmade goods I'll be happy for it!

The Table

2008-06-12T15:11:00.008-04:00

To me, tables are the center of hospitality.
Chris and I love having people in our home for both informal and formal events. I am never happier than when there is laughter and good food in my home (especially if someone else is doing the dishes!). Chris is an amazing cook and is always trying something new (check out his blog for more on this). The times we have had with friends and family around our table are some of my favorite memories.
But during the summer we liked being outside and we have inherited a beautiful deck from Mark and Stacy but alas, no table!
Chris then amazed me with his woodworking skills and whipped up a table in a day! (why is this man in seminary?)
It sat for a winter with only a coat of primer on it until a month ago when I finally painted it. (is any one picking up on my tendency to procrastinate?)
We had seen a few tables with wild colors and patterns all over and we really liked them. I'm really glad I didn't start painting when we had our first ideas because it would have been hideous. Time mellowed our plans and this is what we came up with!
I don't have the steadiest hand with a paint brush but I enjoyed working with a medium I am not familiar with. Chris also made the benches with some wood that his company was throwing away. He is full of suprises!
It is so nice to be able to entertain outside now. We have added some hanging candles and potted plants so our outside feels as inviting as our inside!
God has blessed us with wonderful family and friends and it's great to be able to open our home to give back to them.

When they're asleep...

2008-06-12T14:35:00.007-04:00

...this is what I've been up to.
There are some amazing blogs out there of women who are incredibly talented at crafting and photography...this is not one of those blogs. I love to make things but the pictures I take of them are not artistic. They merely serve the purpose of getting the information across. "I made this and this is what it looks like."
That said...here is part of what I've been making in my seven month absence from the blog.
This is a mobile I made for our living room last fall. I had been dreaming of a mobile for years but could never get the design down. Then one day it all came together and here it is. It has survived multiple attacks from John but sadly one of the birds is now without wings.
I made this purse for my sister for Christmas. The pattern also came from Amy Karol's "Bend the Rules Sewing". If you are scared of sewing but want to try it, buy this book. It's excellent! I enjoyed making this purse and had a hard time giving it away.
I have been working on a quilt for John for the past few months. He has moved to his "big boy bed" recently and needs something snugly to sleep with. It was fun to pick out the fabrics and piece them all together. Machine quilting it however was not so fun. It definitely is going to look like a first quilt but most people have the sense to not try a twin sized quilt for their first time. I need to trim it and bind it and then I can start on Sam's matching one...someday.

I also enjoy working with paper but I never know what to call my creations. I love making cards but I also like to write out verses of Scripture or quotes and put them in a collage of sorts. Is that what it is? A collage? I'll go with that from now on.
This first one is a quote from "Lord of the Rings" that a friend of mine liked. The paper I used is from "Basic Grey". I love all their stuff and have a hard time cutting into it. I wish they made fabric with these prints!
This is my favorite verse, Philippians 4:8. I have to be so careful of where I am dwelling. Often I get stuck on the wrong things. (warning! soapbox ahead!) I always thought this verse was talking about thinking dirty thoughts ((gasp!)) and was mostly for boys. (since they're the only ones who think dirty thoughts right?!) :)
But I've found that this verse means so much more. It addresses worry and gossip and negativity and a host of other things. What we dwell on is so vital to our mental and emotional state of being. God has given us so much good to dwell on but so often we choose what isn't true (lies we are believing or things that haven't even happened yet (worry)). I keep this verse on my fridge where I can see it at all times because I often have to catch myself dwelling on other things than what is true.
...sigh...
I'm off my soapbox.
In keeping with my little old lady tendancies I have taken up embroidery! I think once you start to quilt, embroidery is not very far off. I have grand plans for a quilt for the family room and it involves a lot of embroidery. So I downloaded some patterns and went to it. It's really relaxing and full of immediate gratification which I am a big fan of.
I'm so glad that God has given us the ability to create. It's so enjoyable and fulfilling for me. Thanks for looking!

Poor Unphotogenic Sam

2008-06-05T15:59:00.005-04:00

(Look! Two posts in one week! Ha!)
It seems that Sam is as unphotogenic as his mother. I promise you, in real life he is really cute! He has the best laugh and his smile lights up his whole face if not the whole room. So I thought I would post some of his better pictures from the last few months so you will believe me. :)
See?!! He is cute!
I think he looks very handsome and pensive in this shot.
And for the record he does have hair, it's just blonde and very fine. He is quite different from his hairy older brother but I'm sure it will even out someday! :)
That's John with his friend Sammy Bergwerff (isn't she lovely?!).
Craftiness coming soon!

I'm Still Alive

2008-05-31T14:56:00.007-04:00

It has been repeatedly brought to my attention that I have not updated my blog for awhile.
There have been a few changes around here since late October so here's a brief run-through.
That is Sam brand new on December 19th. He weighed in just shy of 10 lbs and has been packing on the weight ever since.
Here we are within the last two weeks. He is well over 5 months old and developing quite a lovely personality! Though unfortunately, until he gets a little more hair he will continue to resemble Dr. Evil. He is a wonderful addition to our family and John is handling the change well. John is well into the two's in every sense of that word. He is busy and friendly and mischievous all at once. I sneak into his room every night just to see him at peace and looking so angelic...and then there are mornings like this morning where he greeted us at 5:30 AM full of energy! Motherhood is more difficult to those of us who are not used to seeing the world before 8 in the morning.
Here we are as the four of us...our first shot as a family!
It was a long winter adjusting to life with two little people but Spring is here and I'm starting to figure a few things out. God has continued to be faithful to us and is our Rock as always (see Psalm 62).
Today Chris and I are celebrating 5 years of marriage. It seems unbelievable to me that we have already reached this milestone. Looking back we have had so much joy in our life together. There have been many hard times but so many fun memories. Chris is still the best man I know and I am astounded each day that he chose me. I am so blessed.
This was take when we first started dating 7 years ago...and oh my goodness I still own those shoes!
Well...I hope no one died of shock seeing a new post on my blog. I have no idea why it occurred to me to post this very moment. I'm supposed to be out gardening on this beautiful day. But here I am letting you all know that I am indeed alive and well and I may just get back into a routine of regular blogging like all the rest of you faithful people
...but don't count on it. :)

So I Sew 2

2007-10-31T12:28:00.000-04:00

Why have I not been blogging?
My only good excuse is that John is hard to take good pictures of at this age. He is in constant motion and I am no expert behind the lense. However, disgruntled aunts and uncles requesting pictures finally win out in the end. So here is an action shot of the little man himself.
I also haven't been able to post about my creations lately because most everything coming out of the workshop is for Christmas. Except for today!
This is a purse from Amy Karol's book, "Bend The Rules Sewing". I added some extra pockets on the inside so it can double as a diaper bag if I so choose. This book has been a lot of fun to work through and I am learning a lot. I would say more but that might be giving away Christmas secrets! :)
I also wipped up a mini-diaper bag with the left over fabric that is just big enough to hold wipes and a few diapers. This pattern is also from Amy's book.
I started a hat last week for Chris that turned out to fit John better. I don't know what happened but it was not the size I intended. John seems to enjoy it and will actually leave it on for a little while before casting it aside. The pregnancy has been going well. I'm "livin' large" and according to the magic baby calendars, I should only have about 7 more weeks to go. Although my doctor told me as we were discussing due dates, that it's all just a 'crap-shoot' anyway. What is a 'crap-shoot'? And what am I supposed to do with that? I think Mr. Sam will come when he chooses. I just hope he chooses on this side of 9 lbs.
Did I mention we are having a boy? I can't remember if I did or not. Samuel is the name unless he turns out to not be a he. I admire those who can leave the gender a suprise, I'm just not one of them. I found that the delivery room holds enough suprises for me as it is. I will spare you any pregnancy profile pictures but here is a shot from my birthday earlier this month. Chris took the day off of work and we went to Saugatuck for a date. It was a beautiful day and we had a great time browsing the stores, eating good food and walking on the beach. It's grand being married to your best friend. :)

So I Sew...

2007-07-09T20:50:00.000-04:00

What does one do when one's regular clothes are a bit snug but maternity clothes still resemble circus tents?
Why, one sews their own clothes of course!!
I've been sewing like mad lately after I found some good deals on fabric and a great pattern (McCall's 5388) for cute shirts that are belly friendly.
This one was my first one and turned out a little big.
This was my second attempt with some fabric that I love. The gathers in the front turned out a little wonky but I'm telling myself that it only adds character. It's smaller than the first one and fits much better.
This is the one I finished this evening and I think it's my favorite. I made the least amount of mistakes and it came together very quickly. And possibly my most favorite detail is that the fabric is an old sheet that I picked up at a thrift store for $1.
I think I'm becoming a sewing addict.
And now for a few random pictures of John.
Here he is this evening enjoying his sandbox just before a well-earned bath. He loves playing outside in anything that could possibly get him dirty. (He is all boy)
And here is a lovely shot of the amazing things he can do with a spoon and some pudding. He is very talented. For as often as this child is in the bathtub he should be the cleanest, best- smelling boy around...but he's not. I love his messy ways. How could you not love a face like that?!

Pictures of our life

2007-06-25T21:24:00.001-04:00

Here are some very early ultrasound pictures of our little Who. We got a few of the 4D shots but you still have to use your imagination to figure out what you're looking at. Ultrasound appointments are my favorite. I can never get over watching the baby move and watching its heart beat. It's amazing that we get to experience all of this even before the baby is born! We're so excited about this new little life! I have loved knowing and caring for John and though I'm a little wary of the whole "mother of 2" thing, I know I will love this one just as much.
Meanwhile, John has been taking drumming lessons from his Daddy. John is fascinated by anything that Chris does and he always wants to be a part of the action. Our favorite things are just being together in our home. God has been good.

News

2007-06-22T11:35:00.001-04:00

John wanted to share his new title with you!

A Smattering

2007-02-01T20:38:00.000-05:00

I am a terrible blogger. I am on the web looking at other people's blogs all the time but I rarely post anything myself.
I am a user of the blogging world, not a giver. Thank you to all of you who regularly give inspiration from your daily lives. I will try to be more faithful in the future. :)

That said, I thought I would put a smattering of my creative ventures, or maybe I should say, creative explosions, here for your perusal.

This little hat was a gift for my beautiful niece Kate. I made a similar one for my other lovely niece Isabella but I cannot find a picture of it. I love yarn work for little girls. All of the fluffy pinkness is very addicting.

Next are all of the purses that my female relatives received for Christmas. These are so fun to make and work up very quickly. Beware, once you start you can't stop!!!

When I was in Dallas we went to one of my favorite stores, Anthropologie. I love that store but I can't afford much in it!! :) However I did find a beautiful tea towel that was clearanced and was calling my name!. I could never use it as a towel, so I turned it into an apron!

Recently I was snooping around in the dark recesses of our basement and I found a treasure!!! Behind the water heater sat a pile of leftover tile and grout!!!! GROUT!!!

Maybe it's a little odd to get so excited about home improvement leavings but us crafty types are easily thrilled by things others throw away. "One man's grout is another woman's treasure!!"
I have been waiting for years to begin mosaics but the right time has never come. I have carefully laid aside broken china, beads, shells and anything else pretty and cast aside for my future crafting endeavors. I almost pitched my collection in all of the moving we've been doing but I am a pack-rat (much to my husband's dismay) and so it stayed.
These are my first attempts. I thought they would make nice trivets. I'd like to work my way up to stepping stones and urns for my future garden. (my spring project! any ideas?)
In fact, every flat surface in my home is in danger of being covered in shards of china and glass.
All it really involves is gluing your pieces to the tile and letting them dry. Then you mix up the grout and spread it on, making sure to get it in all the crevices (isn't that an awful word?!{{{shudder}}}). Then you wipe down the surface and let it dry. After a final buffing with a towel you're done!!!
Next, I'd like to actually buy the little tiles found in more traditional mosaics and cover a small box (or maybe an end table!). I need to start small but I get so excited with all these ideas flying around in my head!

The next pictures are of a jewelry party I had awhile back. It was a great evening with friends and family doing a little Christmas shopping from my wares. I was really nervous beforehand. It's hard to be vulnerable like that. But it went really well and I even had fun!

I don't know where this need to create comes from but I always have to be in the middle of some sort of project. Maybe our need to create comes from our Creator. He created us in His image so we create to be like Him. It's a beautiful gift that He's given us. I've begun to see the creative process as more than a hobby. I think it can be an act of worship to the One who gave us these gifts. The whole process brings so much joy and fulfillment. I love the moment of inspiration where I can envision the finished piece and can't wait to get started! I love the process, seeing my vision become a reality (though it rarely looks like the picture in my head). And I love, love, love, giving a gift to a loved one that is more than a gift, it's a part of me. I'm always nervous, giving a handmade gift." What if they hate it or don't appreciate the time and love invested in it? Is everyone sick of homemade gifts?" But (unless everyone in my family is just humoring me) I love the moment when they really see it for what it is and they accept it. It's almost like they're accepting a part of me.
I think that's why Christmas is such a nerve-wracking time for me. When everyone starts digging into the wrapping I suddenly feel like I'm standing in my skivvies under the brightly lit Christmas tree. (talk about a mental picture!)
Anyway, everyone was very gracious this Christmas and accepted the little bits of me that were created and wrapped just for them.
What about you? Do you ever feel the urge just to make something? Why do you think we feel this need to create? What project are you in the middle of?
This has certianly turned into a long post. I'll put some new pictures of John up soon, as he is the most important creation I've helped to make yet!

Business is...?

2007-01-18T13:53:00.000-05:00

I have way too much to blog about and no time today. So I'll skip over the holidays and my trip to Dallas (that's right Texas...with 4 children under 6...I'll save that story for another time.) and get right to my latest venture.
I opened up an Etsy shop!!!
I have no idea what Etsy stands for but it's a wonderful place where handcrafted goods can be bought and sold.
So I set up shop and put my wares out for all the web-savvy shoppers to see.
This is very brave for me because I'm not much of a business woman. I like to make the stuff...selling it something different.
So, if you'd like to see it go to
www.preciouspetunia.etsy.com
and have a look around!

Happy Birthday!

2006-12-14T21:36:00.000-05:00

December.13.2006
Happy 1st Birthday John!!!!

Louise

2006-11-27T16:26:00.000-05:00

I got a sad phone call last Wednesday.
My friend Louise is gone.
She slipped peacefully from this part of life to the part where she gets to walk with her Saviour face-to-face.
I am happy for her.
But I am sad for me.

Louise was a dear friend and mentor to me. Our relationship is a bit unusual. She was old enough to be my grandmother but we went out for breakfast every week.
When I was in Jr. High she snatched me up and began to "culture" me. I must have needed it because she took me to all kinds of plays and musicals to help me develop a taste for the arts. She also began giving me books. The first book she ever gave me was "The Diary of Anne Frank" and then she took me to see the play at a local synagogue. It was a night I will never forget.
Louise gets the credit for my love of Classic Literature. She rarely came to see me without another book under her arm for my growing library. Most of the books on my shelf are from her. She loved a good story that was well written and called herself "The Literary Evangelist". An appropriate title as I am one of her many converts impacted by her love for reading.
She was one of the most vibrant people I have ever met.
I always got an ear-full of encouragement whenever we spoke.
"God's got big plans for you Rachel."
She believed in Chris and I and our dreams. She really thought we had something to offer. Words that every seminary-wife and new mom needs to hear. She had the gift of encouragement oozing out of every pore.

I almost wrote about her earlier. But I didn't take the time.
I hope she knew how she impacted me. I know I told her. But it never seems like enough when you just want that one last chance to say it.
"I love you"
"You changed my life"
"You're so special."
"Thank You."

I am so grateful that God gave me her friendship. I have been so blessed.

Silly John

2006-11-10T06:00:00.000-05:00

Time with Linda

2006-11-01T11:03:00.000-05:00

I got a phone call from my friend Linda the other day.
"I have a beautiful tree in my backyard. Why don't you and John come down for some pictures?!"
So here we are.
It was a beautiful fall day, suprisingly warm and sunny. John and I walked the block to her home and were greeted with a warm smile and a hug.
It was really such a simple thing, just us, a camera and some trees. But it meant so much more to me.
Do you ever have those days where you feel that you are "going it alone"? You feel surrounded by problems that are bigger than you and it makes you feel isolated.
And then, God reminds you that you are not alone. He gives us His people and loves us through them.
Linda is one of those people that is overflowing with the love of Christ. You can see it in her countenance and hear it in her voice. I have never had an interaction with her that didn't leave me encouraged. I'm not sure she even knows the depth of her own ministry...it's just who she is.

Do you have people in your life like this?
God has blessed my life abundantly with people who love Him and share His love with me. He brings them to me when I feel most discouraged. And then I am reminded, we are the Body of Christ. We are one in Him and because of Him we don't walk through this life alone.

2006-10-15T22:12:00.000-04:00

John Update
Here he is enjoying some quality time with Jonny Vriesman.
He's having red-eye issues in this picture but I think he looks so grown up!!! I am loving this stage so much!

Quality time with Grandma Bert. Isn't she beautiful?!!!

My parents were out for a visit a few weeks ago. It was so wonderful to have them in our home. We are so blessed.

??!

2006-10-06T06:25:00.000-04:00

What makes a 9 month old child decide that 3:45 am is an excellent time to wake up and play? And why does it take until 5:15 to convince him that no, night time is not for playing? So now he is asleep and I am semi-wide awake. It's too late now to go back to bed without some guilt. But too early to actually feel good about being up.
And now I'm complaining.
I'm also helping to lead a ladies Bible study. This week's topic was on being content and not complaining...
How annoying.
So here is my moment to shine.
Do I keep whining about my nocturnal child or do I roll with the punches?
...
I'll let you know what I decide later.

Inside

2006-09-28T11:37:00.000-04:00

We have really been enjoying the nesting process since we've moved in. This is the first time we've been able to paint the walls in our home! I was torn between a lot of colors but after living in the house a bit and looking around at our things (with a little advice from my mother :) ) , we decided to go with a warm spice theme.
The kitchen is a deep chocolate (please don't tell me that it's purple! it's not!).

And the living rooms are pumpkin butter.

The rest of the house will be variations on that theme. We've picked out a green for the entry way and hallway but we'll wait awhile before we dive into that project. Now we're dreaming about drapes and things to warm up the walls. I'm thinking about making some sort of tapestry wall hanging but I'm looking for a quote to put on it. Any suggestions?
God has been so good to us in this home. I still feel overwhelmed when we pull up the driveway. We have our own home!!!
"Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights,who does not change like shifting shadows." James 1:17

Changes

2006-09-27T20:14:00.000-04:00

So...a lot has happened in the past few months. None of which I have taken the time to blog about.
My apologies.
We have a house!!!
Over a month ago the Lord gave us a wonderful home that was beyond our wildest dreams! It is lovely and is nothing less than an abundant gift from God.
2540 Sun Valley St. You are welcome anytime. :)

It has been so nice to set up house again. We're busy painting walls and arranging, and rearranging furniture. Unpacking all our stuff after 9 months of storage was like Christmas and wedding showers all over again! I have to agree with Dorothy, "There's no place like home." :)

John has gotten bigger (surprise, surprise). And is now quite mobile doing his version of the army crawl.
Though his technique is awkward, he is quite speedy and is keeping me very busy. In this shot, he is enjoying the poultry section of the Hudsonville Fair.

My hair has also undergone a change. The long locks were getting too high-maintenance and I was up for some fun change. My Mom got wind of my hair-cut hankering and offered to send me to the salon for an early birthday present. So here it is!!

It's so much easier to take care of and I think it's much more fun than my long hairs. Thank you Mom! :)

Chris is back in school now for the fall so life has gotten a bit busier. He's been doing really well in his studies and still makes time for his family. I'm quite proud of my man. :)

He decided to buy me a tree for my birthday. And not just any tree, but a Weeping White Birch tree. I have always loved white birches since reading Robert Frost's poem"Birches".

"When I see birches bend to left and right

Across the lines of straighter darker trees,

I like to think some boy's been swinging them.

But swinging them doesn't bend them down to stay..."

The tree is beautiful, whispy and wild. It reminded me immediately of the poem where Frost compares the trees to "...girls on hands and knees that throw their hair before them over their heads to dry in the sun." If you haven't read the poem, you must! Go find it today! It's wonderful.

"One could do worse than be a swinger of birches."

Hair

2006-09-26T15:32:00.000-04:00

My attractive son. :)

Drama, drama, drama

2006-08-03T08:57:00.000-04:00

House hunting.
That's what we've been doing lately.
Through an act of the Lord (by way of some special people) we are able to possibly buy a house.
Possibly being the key word there. We're trying to keep things under $100K which is difficult even in Grand Rapids. We are on our 3rd "This is the one!" house and our offer was not accepted. Now we're researching some different financing options to see if we can make it happen.
This whole business feels like one emotional rollercoaster after another and I'm ready to be done with it. To me it's deeper than just deciding which house to live in. This brings up the never-ending mystery of God's plan/will and how He works that out in our lives.

Proverbs 16:3
Commit your works to the LORD
And your plans will be established.

So here I am, trying to "roll it all onto God". It's so easy to get wrapped up in what I want and how I think things should go. What I really want is for God to be glorified in and through my life (that's the big picture). More specifically in this situation, I want whatever God has for our living quarters right now.
He is my good, gracious Father and I know He wants what is best for me. And I'm learning that what I want is not always what is best for me.
So...
how does one tell what God wants for each situation?
I remember debating these sorts of questions through college and all my heady conclusions sound great on paper . But what does it look like in the "real" world?
Back to Prov 16:3...if I commit my ways to the Lord (submit to His will revealed in the Bible bymaking sure that nothing I am doing goes against His commands) then my plans will be established.
This sounds too easy.
Sometimes I think I must enjoy making things more difficult. But I am always so afraid of messing up or getting it wrong.
Maybe His plan doesn't have to be some abstract, far out thing. That's not to say that it's simple or always easy. But if I am living according to his will and constantly seeking His face, then maybe I should trust my decision making abilities a bit more.
With this house situation, I just wish someone would tell me "This is it. This is the house God has for you.". This would make life much easier for me. (I remember thinking these same things about who I should marry. Thankfully I chose well. Or was it God who chose?...).

This is the mental circle I have been living in lately. We should know something soon about the current house and maybe all the drama will end! Until then, I'm trying to roll it all onto God. He does a better job of taking care of it. :)

Lessons

2006-07-12T09:10:00.000-04:00

John was upset this morning.
He felt orphaned and alone.
I was in the next room coming to get him but he didn't know that.
He was heartbroken.
I had left him and he didn't know when, or if I would return.
I came around the corner and his face lit up.
"You are still here! I'm so glad to see you!",was my interpretation of his smile (Who really knows what a baby is thinking?).
I picked him up and he snuggled close.
"Silly boy. I didn't forget you! Mama's right here."

Then I made the connection...I am often just like John. I can't see God working so I question if He is still there. When really, the whole time I feel abandoned He is there working things out for me.

"I lift up my eyes to the hills--
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the LORD,
the Maker of heaven and earth.
He will not let your foot slip--
he who watches over you will not slumber;
indeed, he who watches over Israel
will neither slumber nor sleep.
The LORD watches over you--
the LORD is your shade at your right hand;
the sun will not harm you by day,
nor the moon by night.
The LORD will keep you from all harm--
he will watch over your life;
the LORD will watch over your coming and going
both now and forevermore."

Psalm 121

2006-07-11T14:37:00.000-04:00

"I think it's possible to forget how Alive we really are."
SARK

The Projects

2006-07-06T12:10:00.000-04:00

I mentioned awhile back that I had a few projects I was working on. A few isn't really the right term. There are many. Some I'm just dreaming about and others are in the works. Either way it keeps me busy and my space cluttered (poor, patient Chris). Here's a few of the things I've been up to.

This is Matthew graciously posing with his and Jodi's wedding present... my first afghan! They live in Atlanta so I'm not sure how needed it will be but it was a lot of fun to make!

This is a purse/diaper bag I just made from upholstery scraps my Mom gave me. She got them at an interior design store that was throwing them away! I haven't yet made friends with my Mother-in-law's sewing machine so I stitched it all by hand. Tedious yes, but still fun.

This is my main artistic endeavor.

r. handcrafted accessories

I've been making jewelry for about five years now and have had some luck selling my wares at shops and home parties as well as custom orders. I love creating new designs and pairing unexpected colors, textures and shapes. I'm hoping to get my work into a few stores in the area.
This is part of the bead stash. It's a random assortment of glass and semi-precious stones. I like to just play with the beads and see what happens.

This odd-looking thing is eventually going to be a small bag. I'm knitting it with leftover wool yarn so I can felt it (tossing it in the wash so it shrinks) and see how it turns out. I've never felted anything before so I don't know how this will look but it's fun to try something new.

This is another scrap project (I seem to be doing a lot with scraps). I'm using leftover yarn to crochet random blocks that will become a funky (hopefully) attractive looking afghan. It may turn out to be hideous but it will certianly be an original! :)

This final project is my most favorite of all. He was nine months in the making and one day of wretched pain but I think he turned out pretty well! Here he is watching me work on another purse. He makes for great company.

Pictures

2006-07-04T10:27:00.000-04:00

I haven't had much time to write but here are some pictures to tide over any John-boy cravings.

This was John's dedication. (actually it was called a parent dedication.) So here we are being dedicated. What a profound commitment to raise John in the ways of the Lord. It was a sobering time.

Who does John look like here? Sometimes he looks like my dad, sometimes like Chris' dad. But we're not sure who he looks like here. Cast your vote!

My, what hansome men I get to live with!
Chris had the day off so we headed to Grand Haven for some much needed family time.

We had a wonderful time walking down the pier, playing in the water, getting ice cream and a sunburn. What a beautiful day!
Happy Independence Day!

Gripped

2006-06-18T23:01:00.000-04:00

This evening at church was a communion service. To be honest, I never really understood communion growing up. I never looked forward to them because the service seemed to take so much longer on a communion Sunday. But as I am learning and growing I look forward to them as a breath of fresh air in my life.
I feel like I get to lift my head above the everydayness of my life and gaze in wonder and awe again at the sacrifice Christ made for me. As Pastor said tonight "God forbid that we should ever be bored as we come to sup at His table. May we be gripped by the greatness of God."

When was the last time I was truly gripped by the greatness of God? When was the last time you stood in awe at who He is and what He has done? How is it that our everyday life keeps our eyes down, blind to all that God is doing in His world? What if we spent more time looking up? What would we see?
Have you ever looked at a flower? I mean really looked? Have you studied it's shape? Color? Texture? Could you ever imagine something so beautiful? Have you ever gotten lost in the stars? Gazed at them until you almost couldn't breathe, there were so many? Have you ever stopped to watch a sparrow and marveled at it's simple beauty?
We are surrounded by God's masterpieces. His good creation. All creation sings His praises just by doing what it has been designed to do. I sometimes wonder how we go about our days, oblivious to the beauty around us. We choose to be blind.
I get lost in the simple things sometimes. I occasionally feel that I'm not much older than some of my neices and nephews. Bugs fascinate me.
Some kind of flying insect landed on my Bible in this morning's worship service, right above Malachi 1:14, and I stared at it for about 5 minutes. (while continuing to pay attention to the sermon). Every summer I find an inch worm. It is one of the highlights of the season. Last year it was a big green one that I let crawl around on me for about 1/2 hour. (everyone else thought I was crazy and there may be something to that) I'm always amazed at how they move. I haven't found one yet this summer but I'm still looking.
Sometimes I just lay next to my son and stare. I try to memorize all of him and soak him into my being. He is fascinating. God knit him together in my womb! I am completely blown away by him everyday. He truly is fearfully and wonderfully made.
Sometimes I feel wierd that I am so easily engrossed in such seemingly simple things. But to me it is more than just an odd habit. It's worship. I don't worship the creation, I'm worshiping the creator. I get so caught up in all the beauty in my world that sometimes it's hard to do much else. I don't know how we all don't go out of our minds trying to soak in just how great God is simply from what He reveals about Himself in Creation (not to mention what the Bible reveals about Him).

There are no words to describe Him.

I want to be further gripped by God's greatness. I want to be more aware of Him in my days. Not just when I'm struggling, but in the "little" things. His good gifts are everwhere.
"The whole earth is full of His glory".

The Boy

2006-06-11T21:45:00.000-04:00

Look! How he laughs and stretches out his arms, and openswide his eyes upon thine while his little form flutters as winged with joy.
Lord Byron

My Provider

2006-06-06T13:15:00.000-04:00

As I was getting ready this morning (actually it was this afternoon), I was contemplating our financial situation at the moment. We are living in my in-law's basement and working a job that Chris doesn't enjoy and that doesn't yet pay enough for us to live on our own. We've been in this situation for almost 7 months now and all roads we pursue to change it turn into dead-ends.
Some days are difficult. I love my in-laws. They are wonderful, godly people and I am learning much from them. I enjoy every day that I get to spend with them. It is no drudgery living here. But every young family wants to live on their own. I miss my dishes and my furniture and not living out of boxes. It would be wonderful to have my own house to decorate and nest in. But that is not what God has for me right now.
All of this was whirling in my head this morning when I discovered that on the other side of my brain I was quietly singing to myself. As I listened to myself (which can be a very interesting activity) I discovered that I was singing the words to a chorus I haven't heard in a long time.

"Jehovah-Jireh, my Provider, His grace is sufficient for me."

What a slap in the face.
God is my provider. He has given me all that I need for this moment, this life, right now. I need nothing that He hasn't given me.
There is so much good in my life. I have a wonderful husband. Have I ever told you about my husband? I really should write a whole entry about him. He is the most amazing person I know. I would follow him anywhere. He loves me and cares for me in ways I don't deserve. Life is wonderful with him. My son is healthy and beautiful with a great personality to boot. I get to stay home with him and watch him learn and grow. This is the most fufilling time of my life! I am living with my in-laws, Gary and Kathy. Chris and I get to be mentored by a godly couple who love God and His Church. I learn more everyday about what it means to be a godly woman, wife, mother and friend. This was modled for me my whole life by my mother. She taught me and patiently showed me all these things but I didn't pay attention as I should have. God has given me a second chance to learn. I am surrounded with family, near and far, who love me and care for me and my little family.
We are involved in a wonderful body of believers who love God and are striving to serve Him with their whole lives. I have friends who love me and encourage me.
I am so blessed!!!
God truly is my provider and He knows what I need and when I need it.
I do believe that we will eventually move out of this basement. Someday we will be done with schooling. And someday Chris will have a "real" job. This is just a season of life. But I am grateful for all God has given me today and I can trust Him to provide for tomorrow.
"He is the same yesterday, today and forever."

2006-05-29T12:50:00.000-04:00

So it's been awhile since I've written. I think I've been in too many projects. Yarn projects, jewelry projects, books, child-rearing, and other various creative ventures. It's fun to have so much going but sometimes it makes my head spin.
We had a great time at Matthew and Jodi's wedding in Georgia. Georgia is a wonderful state and the wedding was beautiful. It was a 14 hour drive to get to Atlanta and we all drove together! That's Mark, Stacy, Emma, Madelynn, Brayden, Jacob, Gary, Kathy, Chris, John and I in two vehicles. Praise the Lord for portable DVD players! We had a great trip and arrived home tired but still on speaking terms.
Today is Memorial Day and I am enjoying some time with family. It's bright and sunny (so why am I inside on the computer?) and Chris has the day off! Here are some new pictures of John.

Where have we been?

2006-05-02T11:23:00.000-04:00

This is the month for road trips. I just got back Friday and we are leaving today for Matthew and Jodi's wedding in Atlanta.
John and I loaded up last Wednesday with friends Andrea and Noah for an adventure to Ohio. We were visiting Andrea's Mother-in-Law Joyce and my Mom at Joyce's cottage. Joyce has been one of Mom's dearest friends for many years.
The cottage was cozy and had a great view of the lake. It was wonderful to wake up in the morning to see the steam rising off the lake and hear the many, many birds that Joyce feeds. We did girly things like paint our toes and watch Jane Austen movies. We also played some yard games and I schooled Joyce in a round of Lord of the Rings Trivial Pursuit (I'm such a nerd). But much of our time was spent playing with our boys. The grandmothers loved the chance to get to know our little men better. I think John is in love with his Grandma Bert. (isn't she beautiful!!?) He especially loved all the faces and noises she makes. (Ask her to do her mourning dove impersonation next time you see her, it's impressive).
I loved the time I got with my Mom. I always enjoy being with her but the moments somehow seemed more precious this time. Mom is a great listener, and I certianly made use of that on this trip. She has a way of listening to your words but hearing your heart. She knows me so well.
It is a beautiful thing to have a mother I can trust with my inner world.
I find as a grow older that I have a lot of my Mom in me. Some women cringe at that thought but I take pride in it (pride, hopefully in the good sense). My mom is an incredible woman, and I want to be like her. I would especially like to inherit her skin since she looks 32 at age 51. :)
I came home from my trip refreshed in spirit from the love and prayers of my mother. She still has the ability to kiss my boo-boo's and make them feel better.

on a more positive note...

2006-04-19T22:03:00.000-04:00

John had naked time today in the big, beautiful sun (with his big beautiful buns!).
I think he thoroughly enjoyed himself.
It's been so fun to explore with him this spring. He seems to take in so much!
The wind catches his breath and the sun makes him sneeze. He turns his head to listen to a bird singing and giggles at the feel of the grass.
I'm amazed to think about how much he is learning every moment. And I get to introduce him to the world!!!

Andrea came over today and we had a lovely time sitting outside with our boys. That is her darling son Noah, whom we are certian will be one of John's dearest friends. So far their relationship consists of Noah sucking on John's foot and John giving a blank stare...We're still working on relational etiquette.
It was wonderful to be alive today with great friends and glorious weather.

Educating my Emotions

2006-04-19T21:07:00.000-04:00

"Ascension is one of the harder things about being a Christian, I find. Think how much easier belief would be if Jesus had just hung around Earth for the last 2,000 years. It is sometimes a challenge to remember the Incarnation—to remember that God actually has a body and is not invisible when He seems invisible, because He happens to be up in Heaven." Lauren Winner
( www.laurenwinner.net I would reccomend anything she has written. She's excellent!)

Why is it so hard to trust the Lord?
Is it because I can't see Him?
I know He's so real but it's hard to hold onto sometimes when my problems seem more visible than He does. But is seeing really believing?
Sometimes I think about the Israelites and all of the signs and wonders they saw. Doesn't it blow your mind how few chapters of Exodus separate the parting of the Red Sea and the golden calf? I've always thought that I would have more faith than they did if I saw God's hand work in such obvious ways.
And yet I do the exact same thing.
God has so obviously provided for me. He has moved his hand in my life in a multitude of ways. Many times I have been at the end of my rope and He has rescued me just in the nick of time. But each time I face a new challenge my faith falters.
"Has God forgotten me? Where is He? How will I get through this one?"
Will I ever instinctively trust Him? Does He have to keep proving Himself to me? Hasn't He already done enough to merit my eternal, unwavering trust? Do I really have the gall to question the Master of the Universe?
Apparently I do.
"Wretched man that I am! Who will set me free from the body of this death?" Romans 7:24

I'm human and thus fallen. We were originally made to trust God but sin has twisted that. Now I doubt Him unreasonably. But I have new life in Christ!!! He points me to hope and a future! God will provide everything I need. I can trust what I know to be true about Him. And that is a truth more real than the doubts in my head.

Say What?

2006-04-14T23:12:00.000-04:00

I was chatting with my mother today about journaling.
She's struggling with the whole concept because she doesn't feel that she has anything important to write about.
I've had similar conversations with others who find themselves with writer's block when it comes to recording personal thoughts. "What's so important or exciting in my life?" "I don't have anything profound to say."
I have gone through large patches of my life without writing anything down and I have regretted it. Why didn't I write about my first year of marriage? What an interesting time of life that was! Now I have to rely on my memory to re-live those fun days. I wish I had at least written down the events and a little of how I was feeling at the time.
Journaling for me takes the place of therapy (some close friends and family may wish I had opted for the therapy). When I see my thoughts and emotions on paper they seem less overwhelming and I have an easier time being objective. However this usually means that I would be tempted to dismember anyone who tried to read my journal. No one, not even Chris is allowed access to my journal uninvited.
So this makes blogging a bit different than journaling. By posting this on the web I am inviting you, my (if only imaginary) reader, to read my thoughts. Because I have a respect for the general well-being of mankind, I will not confide in my blog like I do my journal. No one needs to be put through that.
I write about my life. As a stay-at-home-mom my life consists of diapers and spit-up and other less than savory gifts from my child. This isn't the stuff of a best selling novel. But this is the life I have chosen. These are the people I have chosen to give my life to. Aren't they precious?!
(I love this picture!)
If I value Chris and John enough to give my days to them, then their daily events matter. It's not always glamorous, but it's important. So I'm going to write about it.
I write to make sense of the thoughts in my head. I write so I can show the world my beautiful family. I write so I can see that I'm doing something with my days. Sometimes I write just to enjoy the sound of my fingers on the keyboard.
I write because I can.
I want to remember these days and how I feel right now (currently I am tired and hungry). I want to remind myself of what makes the people in my life so special. I want to look back and see how God was working in my life and how he has grown me.
I hope my Mom finds herself journaling soon. I think her life is so important. It's so important to me! She has much wisdom and experience to fill many pages.
I think she has plenty to write about.

Hands

2006-04-09T22:31:00.000-04:00

I've always had a strange thing for looking at hands.
I think John has my father's hands.
It's funny when people say things like this about little babies because they don't really look like anyone but themselves. But if his hands resembled anyone's, it would be my dad's.
I think this is a tremendous compliment to give to someone so young.
Dad's hands look masculine and strong but gentle. His hands are wide and thick, providing him with a handshake not to be trifled with. I love my dad's hands.
But more than just looking at his hands, I love what his hands do.
His hands have written out thousands of Scripture verses to be meditated on and memorized. They have written thousands of sermons to challenge and encourage God's people. His hands have comforted many wounded hearts and shown them God's healing. They have pointed many people to the truth through his faithful prayers and guidance.
My father's hands have held my mother's for over thirty years now. He has walked by her side through some of life's stormiest days, supporting her with those very same hands.
Those hands have held his children with tenderness and love albeit mixed with a little fear and trembling. They have taught those children to pray and to follow the God of their father with their whole hearts.
My father's hands have wiped tears from my eyes and held me in those times when life just didn't make sense. And it was his hand that gave me away to the man he trusted with my love and my life almost three years ago.
I love knowing that every morning my dad's hands are raised to heaven in prayer for me and my family. His hands still help guide and support my life. His hands have been so faithful.
I love that John has his Papa's hands. I pray to God that his hands will be just like my dad's. That they will serve the Lord and love his family as my father has done.
I can think of no greater desire for my son.

April 4, 2006

2006-04-04T19:14:00.000-04:00

Today John and I went to Barnes and Noble. It was a beautiful, sunny, spring day but the wind kept us indoors. Even when I'm inside just knowing that the sun is out puts me in a better mood. I mainly went out because I had the means (transportation) to do so. It's amazing what the freedom of a vehicle will do for a new mom.
While I was supporting my local Starbucks distributor (as every good Jeffery should) I made my usual Barnes & Noble rounds. I am terribly predictable. I walk in the door and make a right down one of the first aisles. There I select 5-10 books on my artistic expression of choice (knitting, crocheting or jewelry making). (I cringe at saying crafting because it conjures up horrible images of 1980's country knick-knacks.) Then I plant myself in the cafe in the back, most private corner and absorb as much as I can of what I read. I'm always overwhelmed by all the ideas I see.
I tend to be ADD when it comes to "crafting". I find a great idea and want to start it as soon as is humanly possible and then I get bored until the next inspiration comes along. I am proud to say that I am currently only involved in two yarn projects. One of them is going to be my first afghan. Right now it is just two balls of yarn and a crochet hook but soon it will be a beautiful and comfy blanket... I hope. Some of my great ideas sit in the back of my knitting box, unfinished, taunting me from across the room. There's something of failure mixed in with my impulsive "crafting". I feel guilty that I'm not always faithful with what I start. Maybe I should be finding some deep meaning (namely that last phrase) about myself in this tendency. Or maybe I should just stop looking at knitting books. For now I think I'll start my afghan and see where it takes me.

the eyes have it

2006-04-01T12:00:00.000-05:00

My son can't speak yet.
At 3 1/2 months I think he's a brilliant child, but not that advanced.
He communicates in various and often impolite grunts and squeals, with the occasional wail. But his most effective mode of communication is with his eyes. They are settling into a nice shade of brown with a little green in the mix, absolutely beautiful.
He is currently staring at his picture on the screen with wide eyes. Maybe he thinks he's beautiful too. (we'll have to work on the humility thing later)
I wish I knew the thoughts behind those eyes. What is it that is making him laugh and squint them up into little slits? What made him cry and fill them with tears while his little lip went into full pout? Right now I'm the one that does the talking in our relationship. Someday he will have much to add to our conversation. I can't wait to hear his thoughts.

It's been said that he has the Jeffery eyes. When I was little I was told my eyes got me into trouble. Our family was moving and I so desperately wanted to tell my dearest friend. I came home from school one day and told my mother that I didn't say anything to her but "I told her with my eyes." She didn't get the message but I felt better and my parents got a good laugh.

His eyes are not my eyes, they are his own (if they were mine he would be in desperate need of glasses). I wonder how he will see life through them? I pray every day that he will see his world through the lense of God's Word. Life doesn't begin to make sense until then. Sometimes I feel overwhelmed by the responsibility of showing him how to live life this way. I fail so often. But I can show him a work of God's grace in progress. And that's all any of us really have to offer. God's grace poured through His clumsy children.

My beautiful boy!

2006-03-29T22:41:00.000-05:00

John Woodson is an amazing person. He has survived almost 4 months with me, which already says a lot. He is a very thoughtful child. There is so much that goes on in his sweet little head already. He has the eyes of an "old soul" as Elizabeth says. He is a very laid back, easy-going kind of person. (A wonderful personality for a first child. He's breaking me in easy.) To know John is to love him and I am head over heels.
I love that I get to spend every day with him (and sometimes every night). I enjoy learning more about him as he grows and changes into the person he is becoming. He is so fascinating.
I think he looks like his grandpa Jim in this picture. This was taken at bath time which is one of my favorite times of the day. He swims like a little fish and is just now realizing that he is the one doing all of the splashing. Things are getting messy!

2006-03-27T15:37:00.000-05:00

John Woodson

December 13 2005

Blog?

2006-03-02T20:36:00.000-05:00

Blog.
What a strange word.
So here I am blogging. (sounds scandalous doesn't it?)It's a funny thing since I'm not the most technologically savvy person. In fact I'm still amused that I have a cell phone. I prefer pen and paper to emails and I still would rather talk on a land line than enjoy the portability of going cellular. Perhaps I'm in the wrong century?
The entire concept of blogging is fascinating to me. Here I am blabbing on with my thoughts and posting them on the world wide web for mass availability. By posting this I am assuming, even hoping that someone will actually take the time to read this. Are my thoughts really profound enough to merit someone visiting my site. Or is this more of a high-tec therapy for those of us who need to get our thoughts out? I feel as if I'm being unfaithful to my old fashioned journals.
So here is my blog, the beginning of my broadcasted thoughts for all the masses who will read them. Bear with me as I get used to writing to an imagined but plausible audience.
More brilliant and witty entries are coming soon.