Gripped

This evening at church was a communion service. To be honest, I never really understood communion growing up. I never looked forward to them because the service seemed to take so much longer on a communion Sunday. But as I am learning and growing I look forward to them as a breath of fresh air in my life.
I feel like I get to lift my head above the everydayness of my life and gaze in wonder and awe again at the sacrifice Christ made for me. As Pastor said tonight "God forbid that we should ever be bored as we come to sup at His table. May we be gripped by the greatness of God."

When was the last time I was truly gripped by the greatness of God? When was the last time you stood in awe at who He is and what He has done? How is it that our everyday life keeps our eyes down, blind to all that God is doing in His world? What if we spent more time looking up? What would we see?
Have you ever looked at a flower? I mean really looked? Have you studied it's shape? Color? Texture? Could you ever imagine something so beautiful? Have you ever gotten lost in the stars? Gazed at them until you almost couldn't breathe, there were so many? Have you ever stopped to watch a sparrow and marveled at it's simple beauty?
We are surrounded by God's masterpieces. His good creation. All creation sings His praises just by doing what it has been designed to do. I sometimes wonder how we go about our days, oblivious to the beauty around us. We choose to be blind.
I get lost in the simple things sometimes. I occasionally feel that I'm not much older than some of my neices and nephews. Bugs fascinate me.
Some kind of flying insect landed on my Bible in this morning's worship service, right above Malachi 1:14, and I stared at it for about 5 minutes. (while continuing to pay attention to the sermon). Every summer I find an inch worm. It is one of the highlights of the season. Last year it was a big green one that I let crawl around on me for about 1/2 hour. (everyone else thought I was crazy and there may be something to that) I'm always amazed at how they move. I haven't found one yet this summer but I'm still looking.
Sometimes I just lay next to my son and stare. I try to memorize all of him and soak him into my being. He is fascinating. God knit him together in my womb! I am completely blown away by him everyday. He truly is fearfully and wonderfully made.
Sometimes I feel wierd that I am so easily engrossed in such seemingly simple things. But to me it is more than just an odd habit. It's worship. I don't worship the creation, I'm worshiping the creator. I get so caught up in all the beauty in my world that sometimes it's hard to do much else. I don't know how we all don't go out of our minds trying to soak in just how great God is simply from what He reveals about Himself in Creation (not to mention what the Bible reveals about Him).

There are no words to describe Him.

I want to be further gripped by God's greatness. I want to be more aware of Him in my days. Not just when I'm struggling, but in the "little" things. His good gifts are everwhere.
"The whole earth is full of His glory".

The Boy

Look! How he laughs and stretches out his arms, and openswide his eyes upon thine while his little form flutters as winged with joy.
Lord Byron

My Provider

As I was getting ready this morning (actually it was this afternoon), I was contemplating our financial situation at the moment. We are living in my in-law's basement and working a job that Chris doesn't enjoy and that doesn't yet pay enough for us to live on our own. We've been in this situation for almost 7 months now and all roads we pursue to change it turn into dead-ends.
Some days are difficult. I love my in-laws. They are wonderful, godly people and I am learning much from them. I enjoy every day that I get to spend with them. It is no drudgery living here. But every young family wants to live on their own. I miss my dishes and my furniture and not living out of boxes. It would be wonderful to have my own house to decorate and nest in. But that is not what God has for me right now.
All of this was whirling in my head this morning when I discovered that on the other side of my brain I was quietly singing to myself. As I listened to myself (which can be a very interesting activity) I discovered that I was singing the words to a chorus I haven't heard in a long time.

"Jehovah-Jireh, my Provider, His grace is sufficient for me."

What a slap in the face.
God is my provider. He has given me all that I need for this moment, this life, right now. I need nothing that He hasn't given me.
There is so much good in my life. I have a wonderful husband. Have I ever told you about my husband? I really should write a whole entry about him. He is the most amazing person I know. I would follow him anywhere. He loves me and cares for me in ways I don't deserve. Life is wonderful with him. My son is healthy and beautiful with a great personality to boot. I get to stay home with him and watch him learn and grow. This is the most fufilling time of my life! I am living with my in-laws, Gary and Kathy. Chris and I get to be mentored by a godly couple who love God and His Church. I learn more everyday about what it means to be a godly woman, wife, mother and friend. This was modled for me my whole life by my mother. She taught me and patiently showed me all these things but I didn't pay attention as I should have. God has given me a second chance to learn. I am surrounded with family, near and far, who love me and care for me and my little family.
We are involved in a wonderful body of believers who love God and are striving to serve Him with their whole lives. I have friends who love me and encourage me.
I am so blessed!!!
God truly is my provider and He knows what I need and when I need it.
I do believe that we will eventually move out of this basement. Someday we will be done with schooling. And someday Chris will have a "real" job. This is just a season of life. But I am grateful for all God has given me today and I can trust Him to provide for tomorrow.
"He is the same yesterday, today and forever."